Last week we took a look at the second chapter of Family Worship. The author gave examples of people of the past (and present) who have taught about and modeled practices that are "habits of enhancement." These are daily habits of prayer, Scripture reading, singing songs, as well as other things that enhance the life of worship.
Such habits have great importance. That's why Christians throughout generations have regularly practiced them. One cannot live the Christian life well without them.
Some of you might be thinking of something like the Faith 5, a simple method for family devotions that has been put out by Faith Inkubators in recent years. This is very similar to these habits. Faith 5 includes more than just these practices, and focuses on the importance of sharing and connecting with one another. The difference is that we're focusing more specifically on understanding these as spiritual practices that form our lives as lives of worship.
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Sometimes prayer is part of the fabric of our lives. Sometimes prayer is one of those things that may be less of a habit and more of an occasional act of desperation or duty we perform at certain occasions (before meals, at the beginning of worship, Bible study, or a meeting). It seems in these cases that prayer is a way for us to "cover our backs."
Eugene Peterson calls prayer "our mother tongue." It is the language we speak, which suggests that it is more than just an act we do. Prayer is how we express ourselves as God's people, individually and corporately. Prayer is not just speaking to or with God; it is communion with God, constantly. Paul even says to "pray without ceasing" or "pray endlessly" (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Prayer should be our constant mode of expression. Sure, we may have specific time of prayer also. But we are also called to pray just as we breathe. We want prayer to be a habit of enhancement.
What's a habit? It's something we do that becomes part of our routine in such a way that it happens without thought. We don't want practices like prayer to become "thoughtless" or unintentional, of course. We want it to flow naturally from us.
In the book Family Worship, the author puts prayer as one of the central acts if a family is to be a worshiping family. Now, remember, praying more will not automatically mean you are a worshiping family; it is an essential habit that cultivates a lifestyle of worship--of offering ourselves to God and others.
The book points out that one of the great American theologians, Charles Spurgeon (1834-1892), set this example in his home. Spurgeon's wife recalls that after meals, the family gathered and prayed together. She recalls
my (husband's) prayers were remarkable for their tender childlikeness, their spiritual pathos, and their intense devotion. He seemed to come near to God as a little child to a loving father, and we were often moved to tears as he talked like this face to face with his Lord. (ch.2)For Spurgeon, this was part of being "a godly family, who...serve God when our heads are under the clouds of the valley." In other words, the daily practice of prayer (and reading Scripture) as a family strengthened the entire family to offer themselves to God in everyday circumstances, even when in the lowly valleys of life. Daily prayer together strengthened them. It was a "habit of enhancement." What if our lives were lived in a way that the childlikeness, spirituality, devotion, and expression of Spurgeon's prayers just flowed in and through us?
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This sort of way of living, of cultivating the life of prayer, takes time and practice. The book offers a few helpful ideas for family prayer. Here are some helps, merging the book's ideas with some general thoughts.
When should we have prayer time?
There is no best time. It really depends on your family's schedule and dynamics. You want it to be uninterrupted and set aside. It's often good to incorporate Scripture reading and reflection, but you do not need to. It might be good to include it with Scripture reading and reflection or even singing songs (more on that in a later post) so that you can do it all at once, but you don't need to. The prayer time can be separate.
Many families find that the best time for family prayer is first thing in the morning before everyone heads out for the day, right after supper/dinner, or right at bed time. The reality is this: if you want it to work, then everyone is going to have to make it a priority and adjust accordingly. For example, if it is bedtime or a designated time in the later evening, then everyone will have to make it a priority to be home for that time. Then if older kids want to go back out to be with friends or whatever, they can do that.
Does there need to be a designated person to lead prayer?
Not necessarily. It's best to let everyone have a chance to pray. You can have a specific person begin the time of prayer, but then let others chime in.
Is there a certain way to pray? Are there certain things we should say?
Noooooo! That's the thing. We scare ourselves out of prayer. I don't go up to my wife thinking there's a certain way I need to talk to her, or she won't listen or something. I just start talking. At best she'll listen; at worst she'll put up the hand. God won't do that. Just start talking. It will be strange at first if you're not used to it. Get used to it. ;-)
Should prayer take a certain amount of time?
Nope. Just as long as it takes to say something to God and to let others say something also. Maybe some time to sit in silence and let God's Spirit move. Maybe try not thinking of prayer ever ending or having a time when it's "done." Remember: pray endlessly. Don't let it end, as the band Styx sings. Start thinking of prayer just as ongoing conversation and communion with God together.
Do we need to sit and close our eyes and fold our hands?
Not really. These can be ways to help you focus, but they do not need to happen. Part of praying without ceasing means learning to pray--commune with God--while going about daily activities. Talking with God can happen at any time. We want to encourage this.
Is there a certain way to pray? Are there certain things we should say?
Noooooo! That's the thing. We scare ourselves out of prayer. I don't go up to my wife thinking there's a certain way I need to talk to her, or she won't listen or something. I just start talking. At best she'll listen; at worst she'll put up the hand. God won't do that. Just start talking. It will be strange at first if you're not used to it. Get used to it. ;-)
Should prayer take a certain amount of time?
Nope. Just as long as it takes to say something to God and to let others say something also. Maybe some time to sit in silence and let God's Spirit move. Maybe try not thinking of prayer ever ending or having a time when it's "done." Remember: pray endlessly. Don't let it end, as the band Styx sings. Start thinking of prayer just as ongoing conversation and communion with God together.
Do we need to sit and close our eyes and fold our hands?
Not really. These can be ways to help you focus, but they do not need to happen. Part of praying without ceasing means learning to pray--commune with God--while going about daily activities. Talking with God can happen at any time. We want to encourage this.
How do we know what to pray about?
You can keep a list of things throughout the day. Here's an important thought: try to turn prayer into something other than asking God for things. Like the example of Charles Spurgeon above, try to turn prayer into personal communication with our Lord. This will take time, but it will also change things.
Here are some ideas to help with family prayer:
- The Lord's Prayer (expand on each part of it)
- Philippians 1:9-11. You can change it a bit to fit your family.
- Lord, we pray that our love would overflow more and more with understanding...(then pray about your needs/concerns related to love for one another or others)
- Lord, we pray that you would help us know what is best...(then pray more about areas you're struggling with as an individual or a family)
- Lead us so that we are your righteous people, filled with the righteousness of Jesus...(then pray for Jesus to continue to change you by his Spirit so that you reflect him to the world)
- Go to www.commonprayer.net for some daily prayer ideas
Add your ideas or things you're already doing in the comments below. Let's hear from one another!
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Take time to do this today. When you're all together with those in your home, grab the moment and set aside time to sit with your family or those in your home and say, "We're going to start praying together." You might see eyes like saucers. You might have thoughts of "How do we do this?" That's when you say, it's easy. We talk about what we're thankful for, what our concerns are, what our hopes are, and what our needs are--all with God. God's listening. Let's talk to him together.
And then...
...just start doing it. It will be good and it will help cultivate lives of worship, lives offered to God. This might be scary, because if our lives are offered to God, then they're not offered to ourselves.
That's the point.
To recap: the overall takeaway is...pray. Do it with your family together. Let prayer be a habit of enhancement to help you encourage each other to be people of the habit of prayer so that you might cultivate lives of worship together -- family worship.
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